My name is Otto, and I love to get blotto! I was listening to Slayer and doing donuts in the school parking lot. I call that multitasking. I may not have a license, but I do have a clean driving record… from another country!

I used to be with it. Then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it,’ and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary to me. I wrote the onion article. And I stand by it. 🧅

I’m better than dirt… well, most kinds of dirt. I mean not that fancy store-bought dirt… that stuff’s loaded with nutrients. I… I can’t compete with that dirt. I’m not just a bartender, I’m also a judge of character. And you, sir, are a drunk.

I’m way ahead of you, sir. I’ve already bribed the appropriate officials, reprogrammed the church signs to say ‘No dancing,’ and I’ve put surveillance cameras in all the toilets. He’s not really gone. As long as I have his DNA, he’s still alive… in me.

Smithers, who is that ignoramus? Smithers: Homer Simpson, sir. One of your… drones in Sector 7-G. Burns: Well, promote him. Then fire him.